Screens have become an integral part of modern family life. They offer children access to a world of knowledge, social connections, and creative outlets. With educational apps, interactive games, and platforms that connect family and friends, screen time can be beneficial when used intentionally and thoughtfully. However, it also presents risks. Excessive screen use can disrupt sleep, reduce physical activity, and negatively affect mental health. For parents, finding the right balance between the benefits and risks of screen time is essential in supporting children’s healthy development. While also ensuring they have positive, enriching digital experiences. This blog post will delve into some of the crucial things to know about balancing screen time with kids, and offer some tips and techniques for how to manage screen time with your child.
What are the Benefits and Risks of Screen Time?
Screens can be powerful tools for learning and creativity. They can allow children to explore their interests, develop digital skills, and stay connected with family and friends. There’s no doubt that technology can enrich a child’s education and foster creativity through activities like educational games, coding programs, and video creation. However, too much screen time—or exposure to unregulated content—can have downsides. Excessive screen use has been linked to issues like sleep disruption, decreased physical activity, and even mental health challenges, especially when children are exposed to age-inappropriate content or negative social media interactions. There are a variety of things parents can do to help their children enjoy the advantages of technology while still supporting their overall well-being.
What’s Actually Happening in a Child’s Brain When They Are Using Screens?
It’s important to realize that when children are engaged in screen-time, their bodies may be resting, but their brains are definitely not! Screens stimulate children’s brains intensely, with activity levels varying based on the content and type of interaction. Video games, social media, and fast-paced videos activate the brain’s reward system. Dopamine—a “feel-good” neurotransmitter—is released and can create a sense of excitement and reinforce the desire for more screen time.
However, because screens provide rapid and constant stimuli, children can quickly become accustomed to this intense level of engagement. This can make offline activities feel slower or less rewarding by comparison. Prolonged screen use especially affects areas of the brain tied to executive functions like attention, impulse control, and emotional regulation. Over time, heavy screen use may impact how children focus, delay gratification, and even manage emotions in real life. By balancing screen time with other activities, parents can help support their children’s healthy brain development and maintain flexibility in attention and emotional responses.
What Matters More With Screen Time: Quantity or Quality?
The short answer? Both! Often, parents are told that their first line of defense regarding screen time is to limit the time children spend on screens. But truly helping kids manage their tech use isn’t just about how much screen time they’re getting. It also has a lot to do with what activities are they doing or content they are consuming on the screen, and why are they using the screen to begin with.
The content type and how children engage with screens significantly impact their development, with varying effects depending on the activity. For instance, interactive educational games or engaging science videos can promote learning, critical thinking, and creativity, while passive, fast-paced, or violent content may overstimulate without offering cognitive benefits. Social screen time, like video chatting with friends or family, can support social skills and relationships. While endless scrolling on social media might lead to emotional stress or constant comparison to peers. By focusing on screen activities that foster growth, curiosity, and positive engagement, parents can ensure that screen time is used in a way that complements their child’s development.
How Experiencing a Full Story Arc Can Help Kids Have More Meaningful and Regulated Screen Time Experiences
Experiencing a full story arc as part of their tech use—that is, engaging in activities and content that has a clear beginning, middle, and end—is essential for children during screen time. A full story arc reflects real-life experiences, helping children understand narrative structure and resolution. When children engage in content that has a clear progression, such as a complete episode of a show or a single level of a game with a start and finish, they gain a sense of closure and accomplishment. This experience teaches patience and helps children understand that activities, on screen or real life, can be enjoyable even if they aren’t endless or always available. Moreover, a contained story arc can prevent overstimulation and provide a natural stopping point, making it easier for kids to transition to other activities. Recognizing a complete story arc in screen time fosters balanced media habits and an appreciation for activities with clear endings.
What Does Regulation, Rest, and Reward Have to Do With Kids and Screen Time?
The concepts of rest, regulation, and reward are essential in understanding how children can build a balanced relationship with screen time. Each factor shapes how children engage with digital media, forming the foundation for healthy screen habits and well-being.
Rest
Rest is crucial for children, both mentally and physically, especially given how stimulating screens can be. Screen use, especially for extended periods, can lead to overstimulation. This makes it difficult for children to unwind or transition to other activities. To counter this, incorporating screen breaks and designated “tech-free” times during the day helps children’s brains reset and rest. Screen-free time, such as reading, playing outside, or engaging in creative activities, provides much-needed rest for the visual and cognitive parts of their brains and supports better sleep quality. When children experience adequate rest, they are better equipped to manage their emotions and focus.
Regulation
Regulation refers to the ability to manage one’s emotional and physiological responses, which is crucial for balanced screen time. Many digital activities—games, videos, or social media—are designed to keep users engaged for as long as possible. This makes it easy for children to lose track of time and feel frustrated when they have to stop. Parents can help their children practice self-regulation by establishing consistent screen time routines, teaching them how to set limits, and discussing how they feel during and after screen use. Encouraging screen time awareness and helping children transition to other activities can reduce emotional fallout and frustration. Practicing regulation helps children build resilience and independence, supporting their ability to make balanced screen time choices.
Reward
Reward is a natural draw for children when it comes to screen time. Digital content is designed to be engaging and often triggers dopamine release. This can create a sense of enjoyment which can be addictive. Screen time can offer benefits, like learning and socializing, but balancing it with other activities is essential. Parents can encourage children to see screens as one type of reward among many, such as spending time outdoors, exploring hobbies, or socializing. Fostering a well-rounded view of rewards teaches children that screen time is one of many ways to find joy.
Incorporating rest, regulation, and reward into screen time discussions helps children develop balanced digital habits and a healthy relationship. It encourages mindful engagement, self-regulation, and appreciation for other rewarding activities, leading to healthier habits and emotional well-being.
How Parents Can Help Their Kids Stay Regulated During Screen Time
To build on this idea of regulation, parents can help their children stay regulated during screen time by creating a balanced and mindful approach to digital engagement. Establishing consistent screen time routines, with breaks and balancing activities like play or reading, can make a significant impact. Encourage children to pause periodically to stretch, move around, and shift focus. This can help them manage both physical and mental energy levels. When parents co-view or discuss their child’s screen content, it creates chances for reflection and guidance. This can help kids process what they’re experiencing on screen. Spending the last 5 minutes together before transitioning to the next activity eases the shift away from screen time. In addition, modeling mindful screen use also plays a role; when children see their parents setting their own boundaries, it reinforces positive habits that promote self-regulation and a healthy relationship with technology.
How We Can Help Our Kids Become Informed Tech Users
Educating children about how games and social media are designed to capture and hold attention can empower them to make more mindful choices about their screen time. Explaining how apps, games, and social media use features like rewards, “likes,” and infinite scrolling can help kids recognize these designs aim to keep them engaged. Teaching kids to recognize in-game rewards, notifications, and streaks helps them understand how their behavior is influenced by these features. Discussing these tactics helps kids assess their screen use and recognize when design, not interest, hooks them. This awareness equips them to make informed, intentional choices about when and how they engage with digital media. Which, in turn, makes them more empowered and balanced consumers of screen time.
Why It’s Important to Encourage Offline Activities
Encouraging offline activities is essential for helping kids develop a strong sense of identity and self-worth outside of screens. When children engage in a variety of activities—such as sports, arts, hobbies, reading, or spending time with friends and family—they have the opportunity to explore their interests, build skills, and experience personal accomplishments that foster a deep, intrinsic sense of value. These activities help kids recognize their abilities and talents directly, without relying on external validation like ‘likes’ or high scores. By nurturing offline interests, kids build confidence and resilience, learning to value their abilities outside the digital world. Positive real-life connections help kids find fulfillment beyond screens, supporting a healthier, more balanced relationship with technology.
How to Tolerate the Inevitable Screen Time Tantrums
One challenge of managing screen time with kids is handling the inevitable tantrums that arise when parents set limits. Children naturally resist boundaries around screens, especially when they are fully engaged in something enjoyable. Parents can support kids’ emotional growth by tolerating outbursts instead of immediately ending the discomfort. Setting clear and consistent screen-time boundaries, even when tantrums occur, helps children learn to manage disappointment and frustration. Staying calm and showing empathy while holding limits teaches children to cope with discomfort and emotional challenges effectively. Over time, they’ll build resilience, learning that frustration and disappointment are temporary and manageable—vital life skills.
As we navigate a digital age where screens are part of daily life, balancing the benefits and risks of screen time is essential for our children’s growth and well-being. Understanding brain effects, prioritizing quality, and fostering story-driven screen-time help parents encourage healthier digital habits in kids. Applying rest, regulation, and reward principles helps kids build balanced screen habits, making screen use one of many enriching activities. Using mindful strategies and open discussions empowers kids to enjoy technology while building a strong identity beyond screens.
How Can We Help?
At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we have clinicians who specialize in helping parents find the balance with screen time for their children. Our clinicians integrate various therapy strategies as part of an integrative and individualized treatment plan for you. We offer options for both group and individual support. Interested in support for navigating screen time with your kids? Click here to schedule a complimentary consultation to learn more.
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